Facing Fear

🌊 Issue #7 – Where Fear Hid My Name; A Soul Rider’s Journey Through Avoidance, Spiritual Resistance & Sacred Discomfort

Stage: The Stirring

💌 A Letter to the One Still Running: Overcoming Avoidance & Embracing the Call

Dear Soul Rider,

Some people fear failure.
I used to fear the unseen.

Not in theory.
In ritual, in night, in the deep ancestral things they never wrote in textbooks.

When I was a boy,
and my mother was pregnant with my youngest brother;
something dark—they said a lougawou—
wanted to steal his soul before he ever took his first breath.

Now, in some places, they call those stories myths.
But not in our family.
Not in our bloodline.

My father—then a Freemason—
and my uncle—now the spiritual keeper of our ancestral lakou in Jacmel—
gathered the elders.
They circled fire.
They called on forces deeper than fear.
They won.

But something stayed behind.

Me.
Still scared.
Of horror movies. Of silence.
Of whatever might be hiding inside me.

Later, on my daily walk home from school,
I would pass St. Anne’s Church,
often mid-funeral.
Child-sized coffins.
Black veils.
The echo of mourning songs seeping into my teenage skin.

Somewhere between the lougawou and the funerals,
between the rituals and the routine,
my fear shifted.
Not gone; but changed.
Softened.
Until it wasn’t just a shadow I avoided…
but a mirror I couldn’t face.

Because that’s what fear becomes when we grow:
a mask that fits too well.

a mirror I avoided. A signal I silenced. Until I learned:

Fear isn’t a wall. It’s a threshold.

It looks like hustle.
Sounds like “I’m fine.”
Scrolls like distraction.
Sits quietly inside all the things we almost become.

Here’s the truth:
Fear is not your enemy.
Avoidance is not your shame.
They’re just the guardians at the threshold.

They appear before every initiation.
They ask one question:

Will you stop now, or will you cross?

So this is my letter to you,
to the part of you still running.
Still avoiding the mirror.
Still claiming you’re not ready.

I’ve been there.
And I’ll tell you this:

You don’t have to fight the fear.
Just walk beside it.

And when you’re ready,
don’t just face the cave.
Enter it.
Not for me.
Not for the crowd.
But for the gold only you were born to carry out.

The world doesn’t need your perfection.
It needs your permission…
to show up whole.
And scared.
And sacred.

Let’s walk back into the fire together.

Let’s begin.

— Terod Naej

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📝 Where Fear Hid My Name

I wasn’t born afraid of the dark,
I played with shadows, left my mark.
But then came screams that cracked the night,
And whispered, “Boy, stay outta sight.”

My mama’s womb was under siege,
A lougawou danced on our street.
My pops lit flames and drew the line,
My uncle called the old divine.

Candles burned like coded signs,
Protection inked in ancient rhymes.
They fought with smoke and sacred fire,
While I just froze beside the choir.

They said “You safe,” but I ain’t trust it.
Fear wore my skin, I couldn’t dust it.
And every horror flick I’d flee,
Was really try’nna flee from me.

So I scrolled till silence lost my scent,
Dodged my truth like unpaid rent.
Played wise when I was just afraid,
Dressed my pain in cool charades.

But yo, the soul? It don't forget.
It plays back every silhouette.
Every “nah” when I meant “yes,”
Every fake calm was just a mess.

Avoidance ain’t just fear, it’s style,
A cloak we wear to dodge the trial.
But sacred fire burns disguise,
And truth? It see through all the lies.

I hid my name behind the screen,
Between the memes and nicotine.
But the divine don’t text, it knocks,
In dreams, in breaks, in paradox.

So now I rise with smoke and script,
An esoteric manuscript.
Each rhyme a rite, each bar a bell,
Each verse a key to break the spell.

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✍🏽 Journal Reflection

What’s the Name Fear Gave You?

Before you learned who you truly are,
the world - and fear - tried to name you.
Sometimes that name was Busy.
Or Strong. Or The One Who Holds It Together.

But behind every refusal
is a story, a spell, a silence.

So today, ask yourself:

“What do I pretend not to know—about myself?”

Write it raw.
Write it wrong.
Write it like nobody’s watching.

Start with:

• “I know I’ve been dodging…”

• “Fear taught me to say ___ instead of ___.”

• “The name fear gave me was ___. But my real name might be…”

And if you're brave enough…
burn that page like a ritual.
Or keep it like a secret scripture.

Because naming the lie
is how you finally tell the truth.

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🎧 Listen While You Reflect

Let the music hold space for your truth.

1. Fear - Blue October

2. Man of Steel - Hans Zimmer

3. This Is Africa – A Vibrant Journey by Florian Bur

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🧠 Brain + Soul

Stories of Sacred Discomfort
Inspired by Limitless (2025) – Season 1, Episode 1 (National Geographic)
Starring Chris Hemsworth

🧬 The Scene

Chris Hemsworth, global superstar and literal god of thunder, stands backstage.
He’s not about to film a blockbuster.
He’s about to play drums.
In front of thousands of people.
With Ed Sheeran.
After only 8 weeks of practice.

He’s never played drums before.
He’s terrified.

So why did he do it?

Not for fame.
For his brain.

🧠 The Science

Starting in your 40s, your brain does begin to shrink—about 5% per decade.
But that’s not a death sentence.
It’s a challenge.

Researchers now know that failure, discomfort, and deliberate frustration are how the brain builds new neural highways.
Every wrong note, missed beat, or “cringe” moment lights up the prefrontal cortex, improving focus, memory, and adaptability.

In short: failure is brain fertilizer.
You grow by messing up.
You evolve by not knowing — and trying anyway.

Chris knew that.
So he stepped into the fear.

⚡ The Shift

The drums weren’t the point.
Discomfort was.
Uncertainty was.
Sacred Discomfort.

It’s what rewires you.
Reclaims you.
Returns you to the edge of becoming.

🧠 5 Ways to Rewire After 40 (Soul Rider Edition)

Don’t just watch Limitless — live it.
Here’s your Fear Lab. Pick one. Or pick all five.

1. Learn a Musical Instrument

Rhythm = Rewiring.
Drums, keys, strings — anything that forces your body and brain to speak new languages together.

2. Study a New Language

Give your brain something ancient or foreign.
Rewire your way into fluency.
(Hint: go deeper in Kreyòl or try Japanese to complement your Aikido.)

3. Train in Martial Arts or Movement Systems

Reconnect the body to the mind.
Choose Aikido, Capoeira, Tai Chi, or Parkour.
This is soul architecture through motion.

4. Master a New Creative Form

Write. Paint. Podcast. Freestyle.
Your story gets sharper when told in new forms.

5. Deliberately Do Something You Suck At

The best way to grow isn’t through your strengths.
It’s through the part that trembles.
Coding. Poetry recitals. Public speaking. Salsa.
Failure = Focus.

🧘🏽‍♂️ Fear Doesn’t Shrink You — Avoidance Does

What Limitless teaches us (and what the ancestors knew all along)
is that fear isn’t meant to paralyze you.
It’s meant to mobilize you.

To pull you off the sidelines
and into the sacred work of remembering
who you are when the ego dissolves.

“You are not past your prime.
You are finally in a position to define it.”

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🧙🏽‍♂️ 2. The Cave You Fear to Enter

Myth, Magic & the Gate of Becoming

They don’t teach you this in school,
but every hero’s story starts with refusal.
Not glory. Not greatness.
Just the grip of fear.

Joseph Campbell, the myth-master behind The Hero with a Thousand Faces, said it best:

“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.”

Let that breathe for a moment.
Because it’s not just poetic.
It’s a portal.

In every myth that matters: Greek, Yoruba, Haitian, Celtic;
there’s a moment where the future hero says:
“Nah. I can’t.”

It’s Jonah running from Nineveh.
Moses saying, “I stutter.”
It’s the Buddha trembling under the Bodhi tree
and Ayizan whispering truths no one else dared to carry.

Rooted in Haitian lakou initiation traditions and the sacred purification rite of kanzo (initiation by fire), initiates speak of ancestral guardians—or “threshold spirits”—that hold the silence before we step into transformation. These forces don’t deny the passage, but ask softly: “Are you ready to let the old you fall, so the soul you were meant to rise?”

That fear?
That’s not a stop sign.
That’s the drumroll before the rebirth.

So the next time you feel it rising,
the sweat, the doubt, the “who am I to…”
Know this:
You’re standing at the mouth of your cave.
And inside?

The bones of your old name.
The gold of your next becoming.

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📖 3. Reframing Fear: From Threat to Teacher

Carl Jung, Street Wisdom, and the Power of Naming

Let’s flip the script:
Fear isn’t your enemy.
It’s your inner GPS.
The sacred breadcrumb trail to your next level.

Carl Jung didn’t play around when he said:

“Where your fear is, there is your task.”

Most of us dodge fear like it's a bullet.
But what if fear’s just…
your future self knocking?

In Jungian psychology, fear often marks the place where your shadow lives
the parts of yourself you buried because they were “too much,” “not enough,” or “unsafe.”
But guess what?
That shadow?
It's carrying gifts.

⚡ Modern neuroscience backs this up.
Studies show that labeling your fear with words—“I feel scared, not weak” or “This is growth pain”—activates the prefrontal cortex,
restoring clarity, focus, and power.

Even elite performers—Navy SEALs, Olympic athletes—train to name fear, then reframe it.
Not “I’m nervous.”
But: “My body’s getting ready to rise.”

✍🏽 Reframe This (Soul Exercise):

Next time fear pulls up a seat at your table, try saying:

• “I’m not in danger. I’m in transition.”

• “Fear is here to teach me how much I care.”

• “If I’m scared, it probably matters.”

Because the biggest lie fear ever told you
is that it was there to stop you.

It was never the enemy.
Just the unspoken name of your next truth.

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🧭 Quote of the Week

“Fear is the cheapest room in the house.
I would like to see you living in better conditions.”
— Hafez (Persian mystic poet)

💡 Takeaway:

Fear will offer you shelter,
but it comes with leaky ceilings and no light.
It keeps the soul small, the voice low, the truth unfelt.

This week, don’t just recognize fear—renovate it.
Speak to it.
Thank it for its warning.
Then go build yourself a palace of truth and boldness right next to it.

You weren’t made for tiny rooms.

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🔚 Closing Words from Terod Naej

Somewhere between the lougawou and the MRI scans,
between Haitian fire rituals and Harvard brain maps,
We realize:

Fear is not the enemy. It’s the invitation.

An ancient one. A coded one.

In lakou tradition, they say the spirit doesn’t let you pass just because you ask for “pasaj”
You must pause, answer, burn, remember.
They ask if you’re ready to stop avoiding yourself.

And neuroscience echoes it:
The brain only grows when it’s challenged.
Fear is the friction that forges new wiring.

So maybe you're not stuck.
Maybe you're just one step away
from the fire that finally sets you free.

And this week, I don’t ask you to be fearless.

I ask you to listen.
To the silence.
To the scream behind the scroll.
To the whisper inside the old name fear gave you.

And then, Soul Rider,
Step forward anyway.

We’ll walk together.
With fire.
And the name you were always meant to remember.

In truth & flame,
— Terod Naej 🔥

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🛤️ The Road So Far: Soul Rider Archives of Becoming

Your Guided Path Through the Terod Naej Hero’s Journey

“Sometimes, to see how far you’ve come, you just need to look back with clearer eyes.”

Whether you’ve been here from the beginning, or you’re just joining the Soul Rider movement — here’s where we’ve been so far. Each issue reflects a stage of transformation, mirroring the Hero’s Journey. Start anywhere. Return anytime.

📖 Issue #1: When the Pause Becomes the Prayer

A Letter to the One Who’s About to Burn Out
→ On stillness, softness, and the sacred act of not grinding your soul to dust.
Read it here →
#burnout recovery, #sacred pause, #slow living, #nervous system healing

🪞 Issue #2: Mirror Ride

Reflections on Fatherhood, Legacy, and Emotional Growth
→ Bike rides and breaking generational silence.
Read it here →
#fatherhood wisdom, #emotional intelligence, #parenting legacy

🚲 Issue #3: Riding Into Legacy

A Soul Rider’s Perspective on Time, Transition & Trust
→ From Georgetown roads to the eternal rhythm of father-daughter bonds.
Read it here →
#legacy building, #mindful parenting, #personal reflection

🪶 Issue #4: The Weight of the Names They Gave Me

How Identity, Culture & Resistance Are Woven Into Us
→ A lyrical unraveling of the names, masks, and roles we inherit.
Read it here →
#identity healing, #Haitian names, #self-discovery journey

🔔 Issue #5: I Was Surviving Silence, Not Living in Truth

The ache before the storm, and the stillness that reveals we were meant for more.
→ Stage: Still Life (final reflection)
Read it here →

🪞 Issue #6: The Call

When the times come and the time comes…
→ Lessons from MLK, Malala, Mandela & Others Who Said Yes
Read it here →
SEO keywords: MLK calling, historical leadership, courage under fire

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